i don't want to be a liar
following on from my last blog, it turns out that to do this isn't so easy. i have been reading 1 john a lot (well, we were encouraged to study it this week - ie at least read it everyday - at discipleship class last sunday). yesterday i read this 'if anyone says, "I love God," but hates his brother, he is a liar' 1 John 4:20.
sounds good. i agree. but try and put that into practice.
today, shortly after i left my home, i walked past one of the local pimps. i feel anger burning up in me when i see him, especially when he's hanging around alone, as i know that must mean one of his girls is working. there's nothing about this man that makes me want to have anything to do with him. and then the verse jumps into my head - if anyone says 'I love God' but hates his brother, he is a liar. arrgghhh. how am i not going to hate this man. only God in me could ever make that possible.
i think it was worse this morning, as when i passed him, i was on my way to the funeral of a homeless working girl that i kind of knew. the name i know her by is natalie. though others know her by different names. at natalies funeral, there were no family, mainly just local workers from all the local service providers. except for one guy who was there in a suit. he was what appeared to be natalies closest, perhaps only, friend. the only downside to this is that we knew he wasn't just her 'friend'. he was her pimp. again, as a few, who i don't know if they knew his full relationship with natalie, consoled him for his loss, the anger inside me raged. again, the verse came to my mind.
i know, i have blogged about this before. the pimps need God too. but, to share Christ with these people who are completely destroying others lives for their own gain is something i struggle with so much. i wish i could share an amazing story about how God has helped me through this one and how i deal with it, but truth be told, i can't. it's something i need help to understand. so for now, i'll just keep praying that God may show me mercy, for i am a sinner too, and that he may show me how to share his love with ALL. for if i love God, but do not love my brother, i am a liar.
posted by fee @ 12:33 PM
2 Comments:
Fiona, tough one, but yeah - pimps REALLY need God! Imagine if all of the pimps in Regent (never mind in all of Toronto, or all of the world) had a true encounter with the perfectly just, living God! They would be totally transformed, and so would all of those who are affected by their actions. It may seem unjust to think of pimps getting the extravagant love of God, but imagine if they did - it would have a tremendous impact on so many people! Keep praying for grace and love (and wisdom, of course...) :)
Wow Fiona, what a challenging word. I won't go into details, but that just really spoke into my life right now. Thankyou for being obedient, and for thinking things through.
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